Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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