She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
