Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
