Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize