She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
