i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
