Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
