But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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