Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
