where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
