I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
