In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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