So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
