I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
