Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
