Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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