it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We are two peas in an std pod
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
