Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
