I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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