hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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