hell yes lets make some ravioli
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
