i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize