He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You pole danced in your parka.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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