I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
