Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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