i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
