Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
