Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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