she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
