He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
