Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
