): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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