Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
