Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
