we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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