Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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