You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I party with great urgency now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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