so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
