Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i just made my gag reflex go away.

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(650): View more from California

You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.

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(720): View more from Colorado

i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944

(720): View more from Colorado

and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate

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(720): View more from Colorado

Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

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(260): View more from Indiana

how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.

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(619): View more from California

I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.

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(440): View more from Ohio

We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch

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(614): View more from Ohio

your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife

(806): View more from Texas

yea, mine too.

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