just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
