he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
They are going to name an STD after you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
