I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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