Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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