i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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