You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
