i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
