just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He better not be in your backpack
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
