So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
