"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
