i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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