I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
