Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
