he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
