She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
