I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
