New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
