she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
