they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
