I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
