doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize