She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize