he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Randomize
