I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
