Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize